Everybody Love Drum!

Playing drums on a keyboard is like having sex with a doorknob.

Dear reader (s?),

Hi. It's me, Paul. Remember me?

You might be wondering why I haven't been writing much lately. You probably figured I was suffering from post-Kerry blackouts, like that poor bastard Vincent D'Onofrio.

No, friends, I have suffered a far worse fate than that. I have seen the darkness, and it's name is Evil Drum Man:

"Now! How about drum? An instrument everybody love?"

O.K., I'm not sure his name is actually "Evil Drum Man", but he is one evil fucker. Ever since my friend Rachel sent this damn video out, Evil Drum Man and his evil keyboard drumming has haunted my dreams and generally creeped me out.

"We have beautiful drum instruments right in the product here."

Playing drums on a keyboard is as much fun as having sex with a doorknob, and judging by the video, I think this guy has a lot of experience doing both.